The Star Trek wordplay is going to come thick and fast as the F800 boldly goes where no BMW has gone before; it's the Blue Propeller's first parallel twin, with a host of new and unusual features.
It's aimed at filling the gap between the F650 singles and the 1200cc Boxer twins and offering "born-again bikers" (riders returning to motorcycles after raising a family) a credible entry-level machine they won't outgrow in less than two years.
It comes in two flavours: the F800 S sports bike and the F800 ST sports-tourer. They're mechanically identical, the only external differences being a full fairing, carrier rack, fittings for panniers, higher handlebars and taller screen on the ST.
They'll be available in South Africa in November 2006, at R79 000 for the F800 S and R84 000 for the ST.
The 798cc engine is almost square, with 82 x 75.6mm bore and stroke and revs easily to 8500rpm, providing a claimed 62.5kW at 8000, with 86Nm of torque available at 5800rpm.
The parallel twin layout offers a broad spread of torque – a very desirable trait for BMW's engineers – in a compact package, but suffers from a built-in primary rocking couple (that's the source of the shaking front wheel on old Britbikes, Cyril) and irritating secondary vibration.
Rather than use a complex and power-sapping balance shaft BMW, in collaboration with Austrian engine specialists Rotax, placed a third con rod between the cylinders, using it to power a shoe-shaped counterweight slung below the crankshaft that moves in exact opposition to the pistons.
When they move down, it moves up, and vice versa, damping out all the primary vibes and most of the secondary buzzing. The F800 motor runs turbine-smooth up to about 5000rpm.
Above that a fair amount of vibration reaches the rider through the seat and footpegs – but not through the 'bars, which sport hefty damping weights.
It's fed by a Bosch BMS-K engine management system and two 46mm VDO throttle bodies – effectively half of a K1200 set-up – via dual camshafts and four valves per cylinder, pushing a muscular 12:1 compression ratio.
The result is an engine that's been described as a "buzzbox", but that's a little unfair; it pulls smoothly if rather gently from about 2800, wakes up at 4500 and cranks up to the red line at 8500 in one quick blast, accompanied by an angry flat drone that sounds a lot like a Boxer twin.
Each version will get up to 200km/h in short order and the F800 S, with its tucked in seating position, will reach 225km/h at about 8200rpm without stressing.
Little jerky
Top speed seems to depends on the suspension tuning and the rider's nerve rather than the engine dynamics; three of the four F800s I rode developed a slight shimmy at speeds over 180km/h, that, although not dangerous, was disconcerting enough to stop me going in search of terminal velocity numbers.
The fuel-injection system is a little jerky at low revs, the clutch is grabby and there's a fair amount of lash in the transmission, making the drive train a little snatchy, despite the smoothing effect of the toothed-belt final drive.
The transmission also made some funny noises (mostly clutch rattle – it went away as soon as I pulled in the clutch). The shift action is short and light, especially going up the 'box, but not very positive; nevertheless, none of the launch bikes gave any hassles bar a few missed shifts, which were as much our fault as the bikes'.
The engine is short and narrow, but immensely tall thanks to a second, separate oil sump below the normal crankcases that gives all the benefits of dry-sump lubrication without the extra weight and complication of a remote reservoir and its attendant plumbing.
The whole lump is tilted about 15º forward in the frame, which looks a bit odd, especially with the bike's furniture removed, but perfectly fits the geometry of the twin-spar frame, which is welded up from a cast-alloy steering head and two extruded beams.
Clever key
The front wheel runs on 43mm conventional cartridge forks, with a neat transverse steering damper hidden deep inside the fairing below the headlight, while the single-sided swing-arm is pivoted, Ducati-style, on the rear of the gearbox with a single, off-set monoshock operating directly on the elements, without any linkages.
It's adjustable for rebound damping and (remotely) for preload, with a rather clever key you'll find clipped to the top of the air-box, under the nose of the saddle.
Braking is entrusted, as per BMW practice, to 320mm front discs and four-pot Brembo callipers, with braided stainless-steel hoses but without benefit of power assistance – which would have been overkill on this compact midweight as well imposing unnecessary extra weight.
The fuel tank is under the saddle as per the F650 single, with the filler cap in the right side cover, with the benefit that the bike's centre of effort remains the same and the handling doesn't change no matter how much – or how little - fuel is in the tank.
On the launch ride we did well over 200km before the bikes went onto reserve, which equates to fuel usage of about 5.7 litres/100km – most of it hard riding.
Smooth riding
The bodywork is neat and well-integrated, although the individual panels of the dummy tank are a little thin, and the seating position is superbly balanced.
It's amazing how much difference the handlebars make – the more upright position of the F800 ST lends itself to smooth, flowing riding while the slightly forward-leaning clip-ons of the S naturally lead to a more aggressive cornering technique.
Either model can be thrown about on tight corners, however, or powered through long sweepers with the suspension well loaded; it holds its line accurately under all circumstances and the steering is effortless despite the presence of the damper – always evidence of effective front-end suspension geometry, as is its reassuring stability under hard braking.
The instrumentation is the same on both models; the superimposed oval speedometer and rev-counter dials look a little small at first glance but are easy to read on the move, while the flat LCD screen gives you all the data you could wish for, including range and instantaneous fuel consumption – dead easy with modern fuel-injection systems and adds no weight to the bike.
The saddle isn't very big – there's not much room for fore-and-aft movement – but nicely padded and very narrow at the front so vertically challenged riders can reach the ground with ease.
Bungee hooks
As usual with bikes bearing the Blue Propeller badge there's a whole raft of extras available, especially for the ST.
They include a retrofittable centre stand and the cleverest quick-detachable panniers I can remember seeing, which can be fitted or removed from the bike in seconds leaving nothing to show but a pair of what look like bungee hooks.
There's also a 28-litre top box and 12-litre tank bag, offering a total of 90 litres of storage – more than enough to make the ST a very capable light tourer.
It is this versatility that led the scribes attending the world launch to predict that the ST version will be the volume seller of the pair, and I have to agree despite my strong personal preference for the sportier S model.
Check them both out before you decide.
